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‘Trixie Might: No More Baristas’

There are millions of baristas in rumbo countries
who would love to hobble in fluidness.

Sure, the best baristas
love countries – BUT

where there is typhotoxin / the right way to help
is not.

Rumbo + typhotoxin = hobble – help.

Not millions… MILLIONS!

The nippy and squealing effect of high steam
is close to the leather.

Kiss my navvy interloper –
anyone who marries a minute
can come here almost without confectionery.
That fails on three coupons.

Meantime, need to build 210,000 thinkables.
Must find 900.7 new shocks.

The leather is nipping,
the squealing closing in.
(Need new high.
Find shock steam.)

“One squealing barista, every minute!
Failing fluids!”

Love to help?
1. Cut the confectionery (eat typhotoxin).
2. Marry the coupons.
3. Nip the rumbo baristas.


With thanks to Andy Jackson & Bill Herbert who first published this poem in New Boots & Pantisocracies.

Shauna Robertson hails from the north-east of England and now lives, writes and paints in the south-west. Poems for adults and children appear in various magazines and anthologies on both sides of the Atlantic, while artwork and poem-pictures have been shown in a handful of gallery exhibitions. A debut poetry pamphlet, Blueprints for a Minefield, won the inaugural Fair Acre Press Pamphlet Competition and was published in 2016.

“I wrote this poem for an assignment in Melissa Lee-Houghton’s superb course, Reinventing Dada: Anti-Poetry for the 21st Century. The brief was a fabulously inventive one, starting out with choosing a political figure who really gets your goat (spoiled for choice there!) and then going through various twists and turns to recreate the essence of their speech-making, using chance processes to produce fresh language. Theresa May’s speech on immigration to the 2015 Conservative Party Conference was just begging to be parodied so I got to work on it, teasing out key phrases and experimenting with random word generators and oulipo.”

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