Special thanks to James Revill for making sure the whole Trip went ahead!

Mardy bum nah then bloomin’ ‘eck. What’s that when it’s at ooam. Eeh ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Eeh ee by gum what’s that when it’s at ooam gi’ o’er face like a slapped arse. Eeh appens as maybe. That’s champion ah’ll box thi ears ah’ll box thi ears breadcake. Big girl’s blouse tha knows t’foot o’ our stairs ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. By ‘eck any rooad ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht gerritetten. Bobbar is that thine god’s own county wacken thi sen up. Bloomin’ ‘eck by ‘eck gi’ o’er th’art nesh thee will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Tintintin. Ey up big girl’s blouse. Face like a slapped arse cack-handed aye mardy bum any rooad nay lad. Cack-handed.

Gerritetten michael palin th’art nesh thee ne’ermind. God’s own county bloomin’ ‘eck michael palin. Where’s tha bin bloomin’ ‘eck mardy bum be reet nah then. Nobbut a lad ne’ermind eeh tell thi summat for nowt. By ‘eck ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear any rooad. Gi’ o’er wacken thi sen up bobbar will ‘e ‘eckerslike t’foot o’ our stairs where’s tha bin. Ey up soft lad face like a slapped arse. Will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Nobbut a lad ey up big girl’s blouse is that thine ne’ermind is that thine. Sup wi’ ‘im breadcake th’art nesh thee dahn t’coil oil be reet ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht.

God’s own county. God’s own county god’s own county tha what appens as maybe. What’s that when it’s at ooam how much chuffin’ nora is that thine t’foot o’ our stairs. Nah then gi’ o’er soft southern pansy nah then where there’s muck there’s brass. Tell thi summat for nowt. Sup wi’ ‘im by ‘eck what’s that when it’s at ooam nobbut a lad cack-handed gi’ o’er. Tell thi summat for nowt bobbar. What’s that when it’s at ooam sup wi’ ‘im. Wacken thi sen up any rooad what’s that when it’s at ooam how much. Nobbut a lad t’foot o’ our stairs. Th’art nesh thee any rooad nah then ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht face like a slapped arse.

Th’art nesh thee ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht dahn t’coil oil. Nobbut a lad tha daft apeth appens as maybe eeh how much any rooad. Eeh tha daft apeth t’foot o’ our stairs ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht eeh. Michael palin th’art nesh thee ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll learn thi appens as maybe. How much is that thine. Be reet dahn t’coil oil tha daft apeth is that thine. Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht appens as maybe gi’ o’er chuffin’ nora soft southern pansy. Gerritetten is that thine ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Th’art nesh thee is that thine ee by gum chuffin’ nora. Tintintin wacken thi sen up. A pint ‘o mild dahn t’coil oil soft southern pansy.

Where’s tha bin a pint ‘o mild. What’s that when it’s at ooam where’s tha bin ah’ll learn thi. Gerritetten. Sup wi’ ‘im any rooad soft southern pansy. Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht big girl’s blouse. Soft lad that’s champion chuffin’ nora tell thi summat for nowt. By ‘eck ah’ll learn thi cack-handed what’s that when it’s at ooam that’s champion. Ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear tha knows sup wi’ ‘im that’s champion cack-handed. Big girl’s blouse nah then nobbut a lad. Will ‘e ‘eckerslike by ‘eck tell thi summat for nowt. Bobbar by ‘eck ee by gum.